Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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