Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You dont lie about slip and slides
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
