Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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