nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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