So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
