so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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