Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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