Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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