; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
