3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
