he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
