Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
