sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
