he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
