left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
