I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
