U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
