Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
