It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
