The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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