for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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