Yo dont text me then not text me
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
