I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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