why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
