If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
