My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
