You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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