Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm bleeding and have questions
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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