Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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