Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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