my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
