question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
