it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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