Why does Corona taste like a burp?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
