i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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