Screwed.edu
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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