im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
