I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Randomize
