16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
