Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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