Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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