He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
