Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize