I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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