the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
