So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize