what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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