I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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