if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
