My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
