I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
