i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
